so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
