I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
