Christians are straight up FREAKS
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
