He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
