Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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