Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
