If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
