pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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