bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Rumble strips road head = magical
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
