How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
