You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
