I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
