I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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