Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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