whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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