i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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