I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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