I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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