OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
