we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
