I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
