Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
