This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
