Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
