Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
