He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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