just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
