I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
