Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
