Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
