This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You can't motorboat a personality
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
