I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
