It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You made out with two different species that night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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