yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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