omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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