It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
