shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
