That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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