margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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