I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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