i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
