just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
