when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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