problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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