it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I know her cup size but not her name....
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
