Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
