I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
