dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
