I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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