I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
